Wind Whistler Flips Her Lid
by Erin T. Aardvark
Summary: Wind Whistler, a normally very intelligent little pony, goes into a complete mental meltdown. Please note that this is one of my earliest MLP stories, and Wind Whistler's use of large words is very exaggerated.


_AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was written in the late 1990's-early 2000's, a collaboration between my sister and myself, when we were both still in high school, or in our first years in college. In anycase, we were still a bit "green" when it came to fanfic when we first wrote this. In anycase, Wind Whistler's dialog is EXTREMELY exaggerated in this story, but if it wasn't, it wouldn't be as funny. Anyway, all characters in this belong to Hasbro, except for Wind Whistler's "psyche" ponies. I wish to thank Gene Roddenberry for the inspiration behind those ponies. You'll see what I mean. And I just dare anyone to read this without laughing._

* * *

Twilight, Wind Whistler, and Ember were sitting on top of the grassy field watching Paradise and Lofty chase each other, giggling.

"Sometimes I wish I could fly," Ember said. "Like the birds, and like you, Wind Whistler."

"But it is quite impossible for you to absquatulate, Ember," Wind Whistler said. "You don't have certain detachments or expertise."

"Huh?" Ember asked.

"She said you can't fly because you don't have wings or skill," Twilight translated.

"Oh," Ember said. Then she turned to Wind Whistler. "Why didn't you didn't say so?"

"I did," Wind Whistler said.

"You talk like a thesaurus," Twilight said.

"Is that like a dinosaur?" Ember asked.

"No, Ember," Twilight giggled. "It's a dictionary."

"Oh," Ember replied. Then she stood up and ran off. "I'm going to go play with the other baby ponies! Bye!"

"Bye, Ember!" Twilight said.

"Farewell!" Wind Whistler called. Twilight sighed.

"You've got to stop talking like a dictionary, Wind Whistler!" she shouted. "No one can understand you!"

"I cannot help it if this is the manner in which I converse. All I'm attempting to do is confabulate with you!"

"What?"

" _Talk_ to you!"

"Why didn't you say so?!"

"I did say so!"

"Whatever you say, Wind Whistler. Whatever you say."

With that, Twilight winked out and Wind Whistler flew off.

Cupcake and Gingerbread were in Paradise Estate kitchen where they were baking cookies and cakes.

"Won't these be good for dessert?" Gingerbread asked.

"Yes, I love baking." At that moment Wind Whistler flew in.

"May I inquire what you are baking?" she asked.

"We're baking cupcakes and gingerbread cookies," Gingerbread replied, "do you want to help?"

"As much as I want to facilitate with your confectionary paraphernalia, I'm afraid I'm going to have to disavow, on account of, I have things to extemporize."

"What?" Cupcake asked. Wind Whistler sighed and translated herself.

"I can't help because I am extremely busy."

"Oh," Gingerbread said, "why didn't you say that in the first place."

"I did say it! Is it my misestimation I chaffer contradictorily than most ponies."

"Um, could you repeat that in English, please?"

"Never mind! You'll never comprehend me anyway!" With that she flew off.

"Is it our fault she's a walking, talking, encyclopedia?" Cupcake asked.

Wind Whistler was grumbling as she flew over to the lake where Bubbles, Gusty, and Fizzy were hitting a bubble back and forth.

"Hi, Wind Whistler!" Fizzy called. "Want to play with us?"

"Thank you, but no, Fizzy," Wind Whistler said. "I appreciate the invitation, but I can't contend with you at the present. I'm extremely diligent."

"Huh?" Fizzy asked.

"She said-" Gusty started.

"I CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF!" Wind Whistler shrieked. "I said I'm busy!"

With that, Wind Whistler flew off, leaving her friends bewildered.

"Was it something I said?" Fizzy asked.

"Forget it, Fizzy," Gusty said. "I'm never gonna understand Wind Whistler."

"I don't think anyone ever will," Bubbles replied.

The three continued their game. Later, Wind Whistler flew to Megan.

"Megan, I'm distraught," she said. "Nobody comprehends a monas troponym I assert."

"Maybe it's the way you say it, Wind Whistler," Megan said, petting Wind Whistler's head. "I'm sorry to say this, but you talk like a dictionary."

"I am aware it is the manner in which I use the English language, but I desire my companions could distinguish me."

"Don't worry, Wind Whistler. Maybe you ought to get a good night's sleep. That might take your mind off things."

Wind Whistler thought it over, and decided maybe it was a good idea to sleep on it. Before she stopped into the Estate, she saw Ember in the window of the nursery, looking at a shooting star in the sky. Then she darted off to her bed. Wind Whistler smiled and walked in to get a good night's sleep.

That night Wind Whistler was sleeping off her problems. Unfortunately at that moment she had a dream sequence where she imagined the little ponies in her brain talking and doing actions inside.

"She can't take much more captain," a red pony with a Scottish Accent said, "she's about to blow!" A yellow pony stood up from the center of the Wind Whistler's brain and started talking like Captain Kirk.

"Miss Scott," she said, "turn off the central valve. Her brain is going into complete shut down."

"Aye, Captain," Miss Scott said as she pulled a lever with her teeth, which sent Wind Whistler's brain into total shut down.

The bluish purple pegasus with pink mane, woke up the next morning with wide open eyes and large goofy grin plastered on her face.

"Dah ha ha ha," she laughed as she got up and started prancing around with the same expression while bobbing her head from side to side. Gusty and Shady took notice.

"Wind Whistler?" they asked in unison.

"HI!" she yelled which sent Shady running toward the hills.

"What?" Gusty asked, "no salutations?"

"PONY NOOGIE!" Wind Whistler screamed as she got up on her hind legs and leaned on Gusty's head and started giving her a noogie.

"Wind Whistler, are you feeling all right?"

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" The blue-purple pegasus then trotted off leaving Gusty looking very confused.

Later, Wind Whistler was sitting in Posey's garden, chewing on the flowers. Posey came in to water her flowers humming a little tune when she saw the pegasus eating her prized tulips.

"Oh, Wind Whistler!" she shouted. "How could you?!"

"Hee, hee, hee, hee, heeeee!" Wind Whistler giggled.

"You've destroyed my best tulips!"

"WELL NOW YA HAVE TO CALL 'EM ONE NOSE!"

"What?!"

Wind Whistler darted along the garden, biting the heads off the flowers. Posey was shocked.

"Wind Whistler!" she screamed. "Stop! You're ruining my garden!"

"Ha ha ha ha!" Wind Whistler laughed. She caught sight of a bright red rose and bit into it.

"OUCH!" she shouted as she bit into the thorns. That was enough for Posey.

"All right, that does it!" she shouted. "Shoo! Get out! Shoo! Shoo!"

Wind Whistler started to leave. Posey shook her head.

"I swear!" she shouted. She picked up her watering can and began to water her flowers. However, Wind Whistler returned and opened her mouth wide to get some water. That made Posey really mad!

"GET OUT OF MY GARDEN, WIND WHISTLER!" she screamed at the top of her lungs."

"Heeee heeee heeee heee!" Wind Whistler shouted. She took to the air doing cartwheels and laughing her head off. She knocked Lofty clear out of the sky.

"Ouch!" she shouted. "Wind Whistler?!"

"THAT'S MY NAME!" Wind Whistler shouted. "DON'T WEAR IT OUT!"

Lofty stared at Wind Whistler and then went back to Paradise Estate. She had to tell somebody about Wind Whistler.

"Paradise!" Lofty said in an urgent voice, "something needs to be done about Wind Whistler."

"Why?" the white pegasus with the red mane replied.

"Because she's acting weird. Not her normal self."

"LOOK AT ME!" Wind Whistler said as she started flying through the air in a circle, "I'M A HULA HOOP!" Then she started singing.

"Uh, I'm gonna get Megan now," Paradise said, "Lofty keep an eye on Wind Whistler. Something definitely has to be done."

"Right." Then Lofty flew after Wind Whistler, while Paradise flew over the rainbow.

"Whoo hoo! Whoo hoo! Whoo hoo! Whoo hoo!" Wind Whistler laughed.

"This is going to be harder than I thought," Lofty replied.

Paradise flew down to Megan's house and scouted around.

"Oh, I hope Megan's here!" she shouted. "Megan! Are you home?"

"What's wrong, Paradise?" Megan asked, coming out of the barn.

"It's Wind Whistler, Megan. She's acting strange."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see when we get to Paradise Estate."

Megan mounted Paradise and the two of them flew over the rainbow. They found all the pegasi looking up at Wind Whistler acting like a fool.

"Wheee-hee-hee-hee-heeeeee!" Wind Whistler shouted.

"Wind Whistler!" Megan shouted. "What on earth happened?"

"She just went crazy," Locket said. "She's been like this ever since this morning!"

"So far," Sky Dancer said, "she's trotted around with a goofy grin on her face, screams whenever she talks, gave Gusty a noogie, ate Posey's flowers, knocked Lofty out of the sky, and now she thinks she's a hula hoop!"

"Wind Whistler!" Medley pleaded. "Please come down from there!"

"OKAY!" Wind Whistler shrieked. She flew down and collided with the rest of the pegasi, knocking all of them of their feet (kind of like a bowling ball hitting the pins. Imagine the same sound effect).

"What's wrong with her, Megan?" Heart Throb asked.

"I'm not sure," Megan said. "Has she been like this all day?"

"Yes," Fire Fly said.

Megan was at a loss and so was everybody else. Fire Fly was talking to Megan and Twilight about Wind Whistler's sudden craziness when they passed the nursery. Most of the baby ponies were outside, with grim expressions on their faces. Not one of them was playing. They didn't look eager to play, either, not even Baby Tiddlywinks!

"Are you guys worried about Wind Whistler?" Fire Fly asked.

"Yeah," Baby Cuddles said. "We all sad 'cause Wind Whistler crazy."

"Ember say she know why," Baby Lofty said. "She's sad 'bout it."

"How come?" Twilight asked.

"Don't know," Baby Lofty continued. "She no tell us."

Fire Fly and Twilight looked at each other, and then they looked at Megan. All three of them walked into the nursery. Ember was laying face down on her bed, sobbing. Baby Half Note, Baby Shady, and Baby Ribbon were crying a little, as well, out of sympathy.

"What's wrong, Ember?" Twilight asked.

"I made Wind Whistler go crazy," Ember said.

"How could you have?" Fire Fly said, gently. "You didn't have anything to do with it."

"But I did! I made a wish on a shooting star! I wished Wind Whistler would learn to have a little fun like talk normally and do flips like Fire Fly! And she went crazy! It's all my fault!"

Twilight nuzzled Ember and tried to convince the baby pony that it wasn't her fault. That night, Ember looked out the window and saw another shooting star. Quickly she made another wish.

 _I wish Wind Whistler was back to normal,_ she said to herself.

That night, Wind Whistler had another dream with the same ponies in her brain.

"All right, Captain," Miss Scott said. "She seems to be cooled off now."

"Good," the captain said. "Turn the central valve back on. She's ready for the world as her old self again."

"Aye, Captain!"

Miss Scott pulled the valve and Wind Whistler's brain lit up. A pony that talked like Mr. Spock said,

"Fascinating."

Morning came. Shady and Gusty were at the table and Wind Whistler trotted in, normally.

"Salutations, my associates," she said.

"There she goes talking Greek again," Gusty said.

"She must be back to normal!" Shady cried.

"Hooray!" both the white unicorn and pink earth pony cried at once. They ran to tell the others. Cupcake baked a cream pie to celebrate.

"We're glad to have you back, Wind Whistler!" Gusty said. "Even if you won't have any fun and use those big words."

"Yes, I'm delighted to be back to normotensive," Wind Whistler said. Then she pushed the pie into Gusty's face.

"Wind Whistler!" Medley shouted, appalled.

"Just because I'm normal," Wind Whistler said, "doesn't mean I can't engage in acts of frivolity every now and then."

Gusty nodded and licked the cream off her face.

The End


End file.
